The Black Letters
by evadnekapaneos
Summary: How comes Sirius knew of Regulus' change of heart when not even Kreacher did? Maybe from Regulus himself? A letter novella covering the last year in the short life of Regulus Black, revolving around the relationship between the two Black brothers. Canon-compliant. COMPLETE
1. Twelth of July - Regulus

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter_

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 _A/N: I have always wondered how Regulus could keep silent about his defection so that his death raised no suspicions with Voldemort, but at the same time, Sirius knew about his change of mind. So here is my answer to this problem, a little letter novella. It is one of the first fics I have ever written (well, the original draft), before I had ready any bit of fanfiction, but nevertheless one of my personal favourites._

 _I'll make a little experiment out of publishing this story and I'm not sure whether I'm going to stress your patience. Taking place over the last year of Regulus' life, this collection will contain over thirty letters, most of about the length of the first one here, few longer, some only short notes. Thus, the story is not going to be very long, and yet I will need over a year to put it up. This is due to the fact that each letter will be uploaded on the date of its fictional composition. This also entails that it will take quite some time for the story to properly start. Sirius has little to no inclination to communicate with his brother and will not answer the letters until Christmas. After this first one, Regulus will write again only around the end of August. There will be very little actually happening and the tragic end can only be hinted at; I just try to write a study of two brothers who are not that dissimilar after all._

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12.7.1978

Dear brother,

After long and serious reflection, I have decided that it is not only right but necessary to write to you despite your shameless and cruel behaviour. I will not list your faults and misdeeds, but my endeavour shall be to lead you back to the circle of your proper family and away from your present base surroundings.

I want to offer you reconciliation and assure you that you will always find my hand outstretched in honest friendship as soon as you decide to return to those who are your equal in birth.

I am convinced that when you think about it with an unprejudiced mind, you will see how much and gravely you have erred and brought shame and grief to those who love you most dearly. The wizard is through his noble gifts predestined to rule over lesser beings. It is only reasonable to reintroduce nature's order to everybody's benefit. Each creature has its place on earth, where it can thrive and flourish. For this order to be permanent it is necessary that no one leaves his or her allotted place. If someone aspires too high he must be pushed back, if someone debases himself, his friends are forced to part with him.

As I write to you, right at this very moment, a noble and singularly talented wizard has taken it upon himself with a select group of excellent witches and wizards to purge wizarding kind from the ignoble. If you would but try to find access to these honourable people, you could easily realise in their company how blind you have been.

You have hurt your family and well-wishers most deeply when you turned your back on us exactly two years ago. You have no idea of the agony our poor mother has suffered, still suffers, at your betrayal. She was in such a rage that she even blew your name from our tapestry.

I am sorry for the shock you feel as you read this, to realise what consequences your foolishness has had. Yet, despite her just rage, our dear mother's wish remains to close you in her arms and call you once again a son. And as you might be in contact with her still, you can also tell poor Andromeda that her parents and sisters are still after all these years ashamed beyond expression at the blemish she has brought upon the noble name of Black.

Luckily, her shamelessness didn't ruin her sisters. Remember how Rodolphus felt disgusted at being connected with someone of such weak principles and only Bella's most outspoken indignation thoroughly reconciled him with her. Likewise, the consequences for Cissy didn't prove disastrous as we feared at first. Remember how her old admirer at school proved admirably steadfast even in adversity, leading to their marriage, a happy event you were still able to witness in the midst of your family. I assume you recall that there was a card from Dromeda that had, of course, to be sent back instantly without comment. It really is a pity that you never had the chance of getting to know Cissy's husband. I am sure you would have liked him, he is a very proper connection for our dear cousin and a man of distinction. He has always been very friendly towards me and has even offered to introduce me to the noble sorcerer mentioned above.

As dishonourable as Andromeda's deed was, it has not caused any lasting damage. Thus, her relatives are ready to help her get a divorce and will reinstitute her in the family when she makes a second, wiser choice. Your redemption could even easier be accomplished and would fill your whole family with joy beyond words.

Your affectionate brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	2. Twenty-eighth of August - Regulus

_A/N Many thanks for the review and the Favourite! I hope it will pay off. Here's Regulus second attempt to contact his brother. I originally intended to have him try again only for Sirius' birthday, but maybe I will insert another one in a month. Thanks for reading!_

28.8.1978

Dear brother,

I needed long to overcome my indignation when you sent back my letter without a note or explanation. Yet, despite all your callousness, I am still willing to renew the offers of reconciliation I have expressed in my first letter.

I am well aware that while we were both at school, I kept my distance. On my part, it would have been irresponsible for the honour of our family had I not most publicly censored you for your misdeeds and misperceptions. But now, as you have left school, and we are not only forced apart by your perversity but also by circumstances beyond our control, I am willing to make a step towards you and assure you that your way back is open - for now, away from school and Professor Dumbledore's misguided conceptions, the world is soon to teach you how wrong your assumptions were, and what is due to your name.

I do not expect you to understand at once and to return to your family in a moment. I know such procedures are long and painful, but let them be strengthened by your family's continued love and affection for they all know who you truly are. You may have failed us gravely, but we are still your family who do not wish for anything else but your inclusion in our circle. By blood and honour, you belong with us, not with those base beings you mistakenly take for friends.

With pride I can inform you that I have accompanied Lucius to the meeting he had procured me with the greatest wizard of our age. I have been granted permission to participate in the endeavours to reinstate the natural order that gives wizards and witches dominion over those of lesser power. We must not hide away when we are born to rule. And as I hear your old rantings when such obvious truths are uttered, I add especially for you - this is not megalomania, it is our duty.

I have asked my parents' permission first, of course, as I will only get of age in a few months. And with their usual warmth they have given me their sanction and blessing from the bottom of their hearts. They agree with me that it is the right way.

Should you have any scruples writing home, I will part for Hogwarts in a few days where your letters will, of course, reach me. Let me just add my continued brotherly feelings and I remain your only brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	3. Fourth of October - Regulus

_A/N And here is a third letter. The next one will be really short and written on Sirius' birthday, and then comes December...  
_

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4.10.1978

Dear brother,

I have written twice to you now and always received the same ungrateful treatment - nay, simply non-treatment! - from you. As I see you so unfeeling towards me who have only addressed you to assure you of my persevering love and loyalty, I cannot help but be deeply hurt. But it is no difficulty for me to uncover the scheme that you, my brother with whom nothing can make me unfamiliar, have in mind. You are under the impression that you can break off contact with those who truly love you, you think you can prove us wrong by acting wrongly. But I, your brother with all my heart and soul, I promise you, you will fail.

Hogwarts is the same as always, minus the trouble you tended to spread around you. Apparently sixth year exists to make us forget how to speak as every single teacher demands wordless spells. Did this happen in the Gryffindor common room too? All around you, people prattle and chatter while your group of sixth year all point their want somewhere in silent concentration, everyone's head getting redder by the second. I think I can manage them now, at least the easier spells and after some seconds of concentration. I guess it would be useless in a duel, but it's a start. It is my most sincere wish to become a decent dueller as - considering the Ministry's current stance - this will sadly be a necessity.

I wish I had your advice, my brother. I highly value your intellect, and I know you could help me, you used to when I was still a child. Sadly, with the present state of affairs, positions have been exchanged, and it is suddenly you, my one-time idol, who are in need of my guidance.

You are in the wrong, and deep down inside your soul you must know it. Nothing else is possible considering your noble nature. It grieves me beyond expression to see your goodness being abused and defiled by wretched creatures that are not worth to clean your shoes. My heart bleeds thinking of the privation you suffer, even more because I know that your own errors have led to this deplorable situation. And your iron will does not budge, making me plead with a wall.

But I will continue my prayers, confident that one day my voice will penetrate this very wall, and your ears will hear my voice and nature will make you listen. Hereby I declare it my task, my obligation, to bring you back to us, to open your eyes. I will not give up on you.

I close with my best wishes as your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	4. Third of November - Regulus

_A/N And here the short birthday note. Well, then on the 11th of December Regulus will try again :)_

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3.11.1978

Dear brother,

Forgive me for not writing sooner. I have been completely consumed by work for school. I dread the seventh more with every day. And admittedly I also hoped that you might answer my letter from Hogwarts, considering how much effort I put into trying to contact you.

But this is not the time for reproaches. Let me express my best wishes for your nineteenth birthday. May your next year bring you much joy and, most of all, sense.

Your devoted brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	5. Eleventh of December - Regulus

_A/N Thank you for reading so far. **Eryn Slith** , I'm glad that I seem to have been able to convey Regulus' snobbishness. The next two very short letters are due on 25 and 26, I hope I won't forget about them because, well, Christmas._

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11.12.1978

Dear brother,

Dispirited by your relentless silence, I find it harder and harder to gather the energy to persevere in my attempts to contact and to better you. Yet, the righteousness of my action fuels my heart and lets me send you the comfort I know – even if _you_ may not – you need.

With Christmas approaching and having the castle display all its splendour, I cannot but grieve for your loneliness. Soon I can be home again, can celebrate Christmas with our beloved parents. I will be woken by a beaming Kreacher on Christmas morning and spend the day in the company of our dear relatives. But how will my joy be diminished by seeing for the third time the gap that you have left in our circle. You remember yourself how subdued you were every time you thought about Andromeda missing from our company. But instead of learning from her fault and supporting her family's attempts to free her from the chains she has fastened around herself, you willingly share her bonds.

I don't renew my reproaches but reduce myself to expressing my sincere wish that you will at least make an effort and give some sign of your good will to be a member of your family again.

Your grieving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	6. Christmas - Regulus & Sirius

_A/N Merry Christmas..._

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25.12.1978

Dear brother,

Though you thwart every attempt that I make to lead you back to the right path, do not expect me to despair. I don't give up on my brother so easily but will keep faith against all adversity.

Therefore receive my wishes for a very Merry Christmas. They are as sincere as wishes can be that cannot come true. You must celebrate Christmas alone and abandoned, away from your family. I do hope that the sweet remembrance of our festivities recall to you the happiness of a family circle and will help you on your way back to us all.

To his brother will write again,

Regulus Arcturus Black

* * *

 _A/N ... and a Happy New Year. Somehow my Doc Manager isn't working at the moment, so I just put this here:  
_

* * *

26.12.1978

After long and Sirius reflection, I - wow, can you believe it? - answer you. Because your Regulusly arriving letters have annoyed the crap out of me! Congrats.  
And now read the following three sentences very carefully: With your loving, brotherly 'advice' you do nothing but insult everything and everyone dear to me. I've really had enough of your gibberish. In plain English, shut up and leave me alone.

A Merry Christmas,

Sirius


	7. First of January - Regulus

_A/N Happy New Year to you all! Thank you for reading and showing interest in this little character study! And, yes, Sirius will answer the letter in less than a week._

* * *

1.1.1979

Dear brother,

I cannot put into writing the joy I felt upon receiving your letter. It was a great consolation to know that a shadow of you remains among us - though I must confess that I have not dared to show your message to our beloved parents. Especially Mother is of late prone to interpret everything in the worst way possible, and she might have misunderstood your intentions. For, whatever you may put into writing, I can feel how you miss us all.

But I will from now on try to stop censuring your present company. Your defence almost ennobles them in my eyes. Therefore I will make it my duty to keep you in contact with those you are bound to by the strongest ties, the ties of blood, so that you do not forget where you belong. As a sign of my continuing commitment, I allow myself to recount to you our festivities over Christmas, not to make you feel desperate for being excluded, but to give you back a bit of your true home.

As usual, Kreacher did his best at preparing dinner. We all told him that he is the most proper house-elf in the country, and his dear old face broke into the familiar warm, wrinkled smile. Among other things, I got _Shadows and Spirits_ , the newest racing broom, and a collection of quills, Father got a new suit, and Mother a necklace (but you, as you were not present, must content yourself with my letter. It is written with as much love as our presents were exchanged). She immediately replaced her old locket with it, making Father very angry (though the necklace was his present) because (as you might have guessed) it was the one that had once been Grandmother's. Mother then said that the necklace looked far more expensive, and as they slowly started to have a big row, I went to bed. I found the old locket yesterday under the sofa and took it to me so that we will not have to search long when Mother misses it.

The next day, we visited Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella. Mother and Father managed to stop arguing, and we had a mostly quiet feast. Cissy and Bella were there too with their husbands. Bella's ate a lot like usual, and she gave me a musical box that makes you sleepy. She had better kept it herself, she has got your temper. The gap where you and Dromeda were supposed to be sitting pained us with its emptiness although we didn't mention it, of course; I told Cissy though that it is depressing how our numbers have been reduced, and she sighed in acquiescence.

Once again, I pronounce my regret at your having yourself thus exiled from the people you belong to. I am as ready as always to help you back and grieve for your present self-inflicted exile.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	8. Sixth of January - Sirius

_A/N And here we have Sirius! Thanks again for reading, Regulus will respond very soon._

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6.1.1979

Dear Reg,

You don't seem capable of deciphering the meaning of the English language, but I will try _one_ last time to make myself clear.

I don't care about your family. Your parents are brutal, self-important, arrogant pseudo-aristocrats. The same goes for your aunt and uncle and their two daughters. According to what I've seen and heard, Cissy's husband judges people on the sole argument of what they have in their Gringotts vault. The most impressive attribute of Bella's is his belly. And most of all, never, _never ever_ , compare me to her again. We've got nothing, _nothing_ , in common. She is among the top five reasons why I wish I were related to any family in the world but yours. If you haven't noticed, what she loves most is cruelty and what least her husband.

And just for your information I was anything but lonesome over Christmas, and the last thing I did was thinking of your lot. I wouldn't think at all of them if you didn't force me to. I don't know why I don't just chuck your letters in the bin where they belong. Probably it's due to the fact that you're about the biggest idiot I know and I couldn't make myself hate idiocy yet. But if you continue writing to me, you might get me there.

Content of having you about as much insulted as you've insulted me, I close my final letter to you with as little of my loathsome name as possible,

Sirius

P.S. I've got a Muggle girlfriend. Please tell Mother, she might die of the shock.


	9. Ninth of January - Regulus

_A/N And here's Regulus' reply. Sirius will answer in a bit more than a week.  
_

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9.1.1979

Dearest brother,

My most heartfelt thanks for your letter. I knew that my constant endeavours could not fail to move you, for deep down in your heart you know where you belong.

The solitariness of your situation, which shows itself so clearly in your letter, pierced my heart. You do not need to try to find comfort among the basest of humankind. You should not forget: you have a family who wants nothing of you but some loyalty. I am convinced that if you tried to meet one or the other charming and proper witch, you would not need to defile yourself and might even ease your way back to your beloved ones.

And reading between the lines, you seem to hope to inherit. Have you already used up everything that Uncle Alphard left you? I fear your generous heart is being abused by the unworthy who try to make themselves important in the glory of your name and you gave where you can receive but shame. But I promised not to be insulting those you currently still term as friends and until the mist before your eyes dissolves, I intend to keep to my pledge.

I am now at school again. It is really strange to see you there no more. Especially old Slughorn still mentions you regularly. He always expresses his concern for your present aberration in the most proper phrases. Flitwick has just given a lot of homework, McGonagall is as strict as ever, and Filch appears much calmer now that you are removed from this place.

The best thing about being back at Hogwarts is, I have no longer to fear that Mother might intercept a letter and misunderstand my intentions like she currently misunderstands your character. For I cannot and will not believe that a noble spirit such as yours can be happy away from us for long. And even if you don't like Cissy's husband - and I am willing to confess that you are not altogether in the wrong with your characterization - he still has most excellent connections. After all, it is to him that I owe my introduction to the circle of witches and wizards who constantly work for the glory of our community.

If you want to join me, I would be most overjoyed. If you need financial support, I am ready to give you everything I have in my possession. If you need a brother, I will always be there for you.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	10. Twentieth of January - Sirius

_A/N Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day and at the end of the month there'll be another letter._

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20.1.1979

Dear Reg,

I didn't want to write this letter. I still don't. But in the end, I considered it wiser to write to you again in fear of your Regulusly arriving letters - letters that need to stop and stop them I will. Here and now. If I am in luck, I will never have to hear from you again.

Safe your pierced heart for crying over your own foolishness. I am not lonesome. If you don't believe the simple sentence, I can get more detailed. First, I often dine with my friend James' parents who are kindness themselves. Second, equally welcome I am all the time at James' and his wife's home. And you may call her filth (something I won't forgive you for), just once listen to Slughorn; if you don't trust my judgement, probably you'll trust his. Third, I have several other friends from school still with who I can always spend time should I ever feel alone - which is as good as never the case. Last but not least, don't forget my Muggle girlfriend. Before her and her parents I pretend to be a mechanic, and we often have nice little trips into the country with my motorbike. You see, I have every reason on earth to be perfectly content with my life.

This leads me to the true reason why I write to you against my inclination. Reggie, you may be a fool, but you are still better than most others in our family. Or at least not as bad. I don't believe you're cruel and wouldn't want to watch you become so. Therefore, stay away from Lucius Malfoy and his connections. That Purse has nothing but money on his mind, and he would go over corpses to get ever more. He has not an ounce of respect for anything but the wizards and witches of his ancestry and is busy covering up anything in his family tree that doesn't agree with this idea. I never liked Cissy much, but I confess I would have thought better of her than to marry, like Bella, just for the sake of having a name with which she can show off. I don't know of what circle you write, but I fear the very worst.

Reg, stop and don't do anything you'll regret later. It's been little more than a month since you turned seventeen. And though you are allowed now to act as you choose, don't make any such decisions without your parents' consent. Best, don't make any decisions at all, you've no experience with that. Don't ruin yourself, you have too much heart despite your lack of brains.

Sirius


	11. Thirtieth of January - Regulus

_A/N Sirius will answer very soon! Though with a rather short letter...  
_

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30.1.1979

Dearest brother,

Forgive me for not writing earlier. Be assured that the gap in our correspondence was caused by nothing less than serious reflection on what you have written.

Despite honouring your intentions, I cannot pretend that I do not perceive the false premises that lead you along a wrong path. I have made my decision, and even though I had my doubts, everything I ever learnt and knew tells me that I can't be wrong. If you had read my earlier letters you would know that I have begun my journey many months ago. The noble spirits assembled around the greatest wizard of our time do not desire anything but to give back to us what is our due. And I am proud beyond expression that I can be a part of this noble labour.

As I actually did join when I was underage, you may be assured that I have not only informed our family, I have even their sanction and blessing. They agree with me that it is the right way. But as I am now seventeen, like you say, I am very well capable of making my own decisions. And forgive me for pointing this out, you are the very last who should reproach anybody of acting on his own.

My path is clear before me. I will finish my education, and then I will direct all my powers to improve the situation of the wizarding world. This involves replacing Minchum and Professor Dumbledore through people with more reasonable views and introducing a clear segregation between people of proper wizarding families and up-starts. Personally, I have no problem to approach those of no background to the wizarding world if they have the talents. On what I insist is that they know their limits. They must earn themselves a place in our community. I don't talk of the wife of your friend. Slughorn indeed praised her abilities, and she didn't marry into a family with a clear record, and most importantly, she did so with his parents' blessings. But people of such a birth as hers cannot be allowed to just go and carry off a noble witch against her family's wishes. They must be taught their place, the need to accept that they are not worthy of Britain's true wizarding families. We are not many; the more careful we must be what alliances we form. We are following a necessary doctrine of keeping witchcraft in our country flourishing. We act with regard to each and everybody's welfare.

Once again I offer you every possible support as soon as you start to think about how you wrong us. Come back to those who love you for your noble self, not for your name and riches.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black

P.S. You really misjudge Cissy if you think she married the Purse for his money. I don't like him that much myself, but I assure you she is as romantically in love with him as you can imagine.


	12. Third and fourth of February - Both

_A/N Tomorrow!_

* * *

3.2.1979

Dear Reg,

It looks like the joke is on me. Here I am, trying to keep my little brother from exchanging his companions from worse to worst. We are a great couple, you an idiot, I a fool.

As you write it, you have decided to walk a path along which I can't follow you. You leave behind openness, sincerity, friendship, and love. You turn spy in your own school, selling those who try to improve and help you to death and despair.

Merlin's smelly pants, I sound melodramatic. That's rather your line of writing, not mine. I know to who I owe loyalty, both because they are loyal to me and because it is the right thing to do. Following the Purse's advice, you have chosen a master; I will never know one. Even if I should die, I shall die a free man, never having bowed to anyone.

Try to become happy. The last thing I can do is hope that you'll fail. Though this would lead to your own fall, it is better than a complete corruption of your being. Anyway, you must die for me now. I cannot allow you to spy on me, to trick me into betraying those I love.

Once having been your brother,

Sirius

* * *

 _A/N Urgh, once again, my Doc Manager refuses to work. So... here is Regulus' letter. Sirius will answer in about two weeks.  
_

* * *

4.2.1979

Dear brother,

I must begin my letter with an urgent plea: Do not fall into your former silence again, for I enjoy our correspondence with all my heart. I promise, I will continue writing to you regularly.

You completely misunderstand the situation, my dear brother. I have not become some cold-hearted, treacherous, servile creature over night. You cannot Siriusly think that the Purse is a slave? Or our dear Bella and her husband and brother-in-law? Evan is also a part of our group, you know, our cousins' cousin. I don't know everybody, but I can add the names of Wilkes and Avery to my list. Can you deny that these personalities carry quite some wizarding history in their names?

Be reasonable, this is not about destroying anything, it's about creating, building a better world. We are not bowing to a man, but to an idea, a vision. If we follow, it is because we calmly accept superior powers and skills. We must stand together to realise our goal, and a common leader is a great medium to bind our strength. Consider the respect you have for Professor Dumbledore that makes you follow his orders without much thought yourself. It is not a great difference.

Furthermore, I need to assure you that I am too well aware of my noble background to spy on people. That is a base and dirty business, far beneath my dignity. I will orderly finish my education before I devote my whole energy to the blessing of wizarding kind.

It is the Ministry that's creating these ghastly rumours to turn the people against our organisation. We do not murder for fun as it is sometimes misrepresented. You have no idea with what brutality the Ministry is proceeding against us. Crouch has just given his Aurors permission to use the Unforgivable Curses, and you call _us_ cruel?

No, dear brother, I would never want to hurt you and thus would never harm those dear to you even though they are not worthy of your regard. Do not forsake me and in the wake your family.

Your brother with all his heart,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	13. Seventeenth of February - Sirius

_A/N And Regulus' answer is due soon!_

* * *

17.2.1979

Dear Reg,

I don't know what folly actually makes me pick up my quill again. I write to you against my better judgement and can only hope that I don't give you any information you and your murderous friends can use against us. But there is still the chance that I finally scare you away from writing Regulusly.

Some other, madder part of me still seems to hope that you change your mind. And I repeat myself, the worst thing about my hope is that it would mean your certain death. The only reasonable thing for me to do would be to forget you like I successfully forgot the rest of your disgusting family. I asked Dumbledore for advice - now don't fret, I didn't tell him about what you have done, only about writing to you despite your revolting tone. And I did tell him that if I succeeded in converting you, you might be in danger from your present 'friends'. Dumbledore advised me to keep in touch with you, pointing out that if you changed your mind, you could always come to him for help. He would be able to protect you. But most important of all, it is better to die, having acted righteously, than to live, doing wrong over and over again.

We grew up, surrounded by the lies and spite of our parents. Disgusted, I turned from them to a vision of light and carelessness, of freedom and equality. Perhaps I am to blame, too, that you on the contrary have accepted readily whatever you were told. I sometimes wonder what if I had tried to make you familiar with my ideas, if I had not turned from you like from the others. I will now try - too late? - to familiarize you with some facts that contradict your theories about that so-called superiority.

You have earlier insulted Ted Tonks. I'm not very intimate with him, but he is a wizard of considerable talent as a Healer and is of altogether quick understanding. He was in Hufflepuff, so I won't waste any ink on his good-natured temper. Dromeda couldn't have found a more fitting husband; she can always polish something, he is a bit of a mess, loving experiments and such. If you would ever give yourself the trouble to visit them, you would meet their little Nymphadora. She already has a very sound aversion to her name, we are getting along great with each other. And she is the perfect proof that your claims of 'keeping witchcraft flourishing' are rubbish. She is a Metamorphmagus, meaning that she's better at Transfiguring herself than either of us though she won't set a foot into Hogwarts for years to come.

And what about your claim of not killing 'for fun'? I don't have the news of the little girl and boy who have been killed by Greyback from the Prophet but from their aunt personally. What is the necessity of killing little children? And most of all, you feel comfortable in the company of _that_ werewolf? I certainly don't judge anyone for being a werewolf, but this man is a bloodthirsty villain, no matter what he turns into during a full moon.

If you want to improve the world, strive for mutual understanding between magic and non-magic people, between human kind and other creatures. We should not nurture aversions but try to get along with everybody. And that is why I still write to you. I thought about it, and this is my new policy: As long as you write, I will answer. As soon as you turn from me, I will finally erase you from my mind.

Sirius


	14. Nineteenth of February - Regulus

_A/N Sirius will answer in March._

* * *

19.2.1979

Dear brother,

I was quite touched when I read your letter. I honour you for your sincerity and your loyal heart. I certainly do not approve of your opinions, but I believe in your original good intentions.

With a certain relief I have received the news about Dromeda. It is good to know that her grave mistake has not led to a complete catastrophe. I read between the lines that her husband must be a disorderly, unprincipled man, binding our poor cousin to simple cleaning spells, to tiding up after that shameful man. But to learn of the talent of her daughter is delightful. And luckily she is a girl, so we can hope that she will be more prudent than her mother and acquire in time a name that better suits her maternal ancestry. It is calming to know that Drommy has remembered our naming principles, thus encouraging me to believe that she will in time return to where she belongs.

Furthermore, I insist that I am as shocked as you are when I hear about such monstrosities as you report about Greyback. But first, only a minority of these stories are true, they are mostly invented by the Daily Prophet to frighten the population so that the Ministry can press us down with ever more idiotic, debasing regulations that are supposed to 'protect us from the Muggles'. If we could live as we are supposed to, we would not need such 'protection' but order everything for everybody's benefit. Then such creatures as Greyback could be better controlled. For I admit that the hint of such company is very threatening for the respectability of our elect circle.

May I point out a phrase from your letter that clearly shows to me that you have deep down in your heart the right intentions and views. You write we should 'strive for mutual understanding'. Is this not exactly what we demand? We know the Muggles, but they have absolutely no notion about us. They must be made familiar with the fact that they have to bow to nobler qualities than they will ever possess. True understanding is only possible if the Muggles accept our superiority and right to rule.

Let us not quarrel, dear brother. I will never turn from you, never mind how childish your opinions are.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	15. Third of March - Sirius

_A/N Tomorrow..._

* * *

3.3.1979

Dear Reg,

Yes, I confess, I was so annoyed with your stubborn stupidity that I didn't have much inclination to write to you again. I don't know from what kind of madness I suffer that I take my quill up nevertheless.

Are you still happy with your gang of murderers? I hear Bella's getting more and more violent with every passing day. Some dear friends of mine were attacked by your treasured friends, and they escaped your boss and with him death only by a hair's breadth. It is reported to me that Bella has been a member of the party; also I've heard she supposed to be a great lover of the Cruciatus Curse. How flattering such talented cousins are, almost makes me wish to learn the spell, then I could put it on her. Sweet dreams! Once the Purse has put out the last sparks of decency from Cissy's small store of it, your family will form quite a charming killer troop.

But I forget, you want to finish your education before you start doing people in. How foolish of me! Who would want to be killed by someone who hasn't got his N.E.W.T.s? I suggest you learn hard so that your victims can later boast with the grades their attacker can adorn himself with.

I mean, we cannot let Muggles being smashed by giants alone. You don't want to be associated with these charming beings, nah, you are respectable. It is very reassuring to know that we are being brutally persecuted by such decent, lovable personalities. I would be mortified if I should be attacked by someone whose family tree is not as impressive as the one in your drawing room.

Personally, I prefer the company of people who do not spend their time shouting about where they come from but discuss where they're going to. I am as ready to befriend those with a wizarding background as Muggles, the only thing I ask of my friends is to be true. With this I mean that I want to be able to rely on them as they can rely on me, and that they respect me for who I am and do not try to change me - that's by the way why I split up with my last girlfriend, she was awfully jealous. There are so many things that are worth far more than money, foremost among them - friends. We dream of a world where we can all live in peace, where we do not have to fear for us and those we love. We should approach every living creature as an equal, give everyone the chance to unfold their qualities. Only if we are ready to accept the other, there can be peace.

Sirius


	16. Fourth of March - Regulus

_A/N Not even a week...  
_

* * *

4.3.1979

Dear brother,

With relief I received your last letter. Numerous times my quill has hovered over a piece of parchment, tempted to write again, but the hope of finding a letter from you the next morning always prevented me from putting my desire into action.

I confess - though unwillingly and I count on your good nature not to rub it in - that not everything is to my liking among my new acquaintances. I do not consider it wise to consort with the wilest magical creatures like giants and werewolves just to impress and influence people. But we must not forget that this is a passing phenomenon, they will be far more efficiently than now controlled once we take over the organization in the wizarding world. Minchum is more and more criticised, and I doubt that he will remain Minister for long. If we can hoist someone more sensible in office, our methods can improve. But now we are under extreme pressure from the Ministry, especially the Head of Magical Law Enforcement. We do everything we can to prevent that he becomes the next Minister.

Likewise, I admit that the Purse is not really to my liking. He is far too hungry for power and follows an agenda of his own. I don't know whether he has got anything to do with it, but even Cissy is a little obnoxious of late - when we met at Christmas, she went on about how she did not become pregnant. To me of all people. It was so embarrassing, and I desperately tried to stop her, but she endlessly counted down everything she had tried. Yet, I doubt the Purse is the one impatiently wishing for a child. You know how much she always loved babys.

I wish I could defend Bella, but to be completely honest, I'm a little afraid of her. She is so enthusiastic about our cause that she sometimes seems to lose our goal out of sight. She is very devoted to our leader in a - I would almost say - indecent manner.

But despite all my criticism, do not think that I change any of my opinions. In war - and war the Ministry is waging against us - it is difficult to remain untouched by the surrounding evils. These occasional breaches of propriety will all the more thoroughly be exterminated by us once we are in charge. And don't forget that the Prophet also makes much up; I would estimate that at the most a quarter of their horror stories got a foundation in fact. I assure you, we are all very respectable people from excellent families, and all we desire is to give each and everyone a place in the world. It is only those who do not know their place who force all this mess upon us.

I am sure that you see the truth in my argumentation and finally realise that everything you are looking for can be found in our midst. I sincerely hope to be soon enabled to embrace you as the kin you are.

Your devoted brother

Regulus Arcturus Black


	17. Tenth of March - Sirius

_A/N Thanks a lot for reading and more will follow tomorrow..._

* * *

10.3.1979

Dear Reg,

The only reason I pick up my quill again is my well-known fear of your Regulusly arriving letters. Well then, here's to a new try to prevent them by insulting you as best as I can. First, don't you write a single syllable to me about your perverted family. If I have to read again about your lot, I'll run berserk, Siriusly.

Second, I assure you from the bottom of my heart, I don't give a damn how any of them gets along. The best place to be is normally the one furthest away from Bella. And with time, we have done all we could to increase the distance. Have I told you that she attacked some friends of mine? Yes, I did, and guess what? She did it again, though I'm not that close to her new near-victims. But if she continues in this manner, she might still kill some friends of mine before the year is over. And as I miss Bella, I miss Cissy. I don't care if she drowns in children or if she doesn't have any. Though I must admit, to think that the line of the Purse dies out amuses me.

But there are more urgent things I want to say, namely the crimes your 'friends' frequently commit. If you don't believe the Prophet, believe your brother. I know from other, far more reliable sources of even more brutal happenings than those put into the papers. But I want to be as fair as you are. Crouch may have good motifs, but his methods do undermine our cause more than help. He has appointed some really questionable characters as Aurors. But contrary to your lovely gang, there are still some decent people around like old Moody or Longbottom.

Like you I'd rather have Minchum replaced, but I hope it's someone who will proceed against your lot both more efficiently and more decently. If one of them runs for office, I'll vote for Bagnold or Bones. If I could make a wish, Dumbledore would be my candidate, but as far as I know, he is very firm in not wanting the responsibility. I don't think it's fair of him to do not accept the task, but I respect his decision.

Like you I am of the opinion that we are at war. I likewise agree that in war it is nearly impossible to remain innocent of one crime or the other. But it is not the Ministry that started a campaign against poor, helpless pure-blood fanatics. The Ministry is solely trying to protect the magical population, plus keeping the Muggles safe from your murderous sense of humour. Nevertheless, I censure the increasingly brutal proceedings of some Aurors.

To look at the whole mess from the bright side, you're at school, and therefore relatively safe. Your lord and master is said to fear the Headmaster, so I suppose he didn't order you to do anything stupid. Don't forget that this might also endanger the students, although disobedience would surely endanger you. And funnily enough, I still fear for your safety. The day I stormed out of your sticky house, I would never have thought that you and your whims would cause me so much worry. I'm more sentimental than I thought.

If you should discover how to form a thought while you're still at school, go straight to Dumbledore and tell him everything. He will find a way to protect you.

Sirius


	18. Eleventh of March - Regulus

_A/N Little more than a week...  
_

* * *

11.3.1979

Dearest brother,

With delight I received your last letter, glad as always to learn that you have not abandoned our communication. Still, if I may be allowed a shade of criticism, I think you repeat yourself. Do you want to shock me off by insulting my intelligence? Believe me, brother, there you cannot succeed, I am used nothing else from you. But your concerns show so clearly that you are still a part of my family, and this is the greatest consolation you can give me.

And yes, I am at school and feel perfectly safe. Why should I not feel safe? There is absolutely no reason why anybody would wish to harm me. You are under a completely wrong impression. We are not a group of servants but all very respectable wizards and witches, striving for one common goal. And as it is most sensible to combine our energy, this is most easily done by a great wizard. I am convinced that magical talents are not a matter of chance, there is a direct connection between our powers and our respectability. It is thus only reasonable to admire a man of such immense skills, not to serve him in any base sense, but to be guided by him to a better future.

I would also want to emphasize that we are not fanatic. We are guided by principles of reason alone. It is dangerous to weaken the wizarding community by associating with Muggles, forgetting our own superiority. You must realise youself how contradictory your idea of wizard and Muggle living together is. You do not want the Muggles to know about us, nevertheless you are positive about their society and do not mind Mudbloods. But they are definitely the greatest threat to the Statute of Secrecy.

Personally, I am very convinced that the so-called Muggle-borns are truly half-bloods with a very immoral Muggle mother and a wizard father who succumbed to base emotions and was yet reasonable enough to prevent such proceedings from becoming public. I would therefore propose to separate such children as soon as possible from their Muggle-surroundings and put them into wizarding care. So they can be taught from the beginning of their shameful origin and that they therefore need to be very humble towards proper members of the wizarding community. With a careful marrying practice their descendants may one day rise to being accepted among us.

A magical family would suffer severely if a member formed bonds with a Mudblood or, even worse, a Muggle. The decrease in nobility could only be compensated with great efforts and patience. Especially a witch should never marry a man of lower dignity. I have repeatedly heard that Muggle men, and therefore everyone with connections into their sphere, are prone to suppress women and cannot accept a more talented companion. You see the dangers a witch is in if she succumbs to passing feelings and finds herself and her qualities imprisoned by her jealous husband. On the other hand, I think a wizard doesn't have to be ashamed if he marries a woman of slightly less noble origins, although I would not advocate an all too great gap between them.

I really hope that old Parkinson will become next Minister, he has got the most sensible views of the present proceedings. Bagnold is a decent enough person, but she is a creature of the Ministry, and I don't think she could contend with Crouch – though, of course, I honour the Crouches as an old and noble wizarding family, and I have always been on good terms with his son. And to which Bones do you refer? They are a rather large family, but I suppose you mean Edgar Bones or one of his siblings. There's one Bones some years younger here in Hufflepuff, but I think she is not directly related to them. And though I concede that the Bones's are really nice people, they are far too close to Dumbledore to expect a reasonable policy from them.

I hope you are well and get along despite your isolation. What are you actually doing? You never told me. I do hope you are not too lonesome and get too corrupted by your doubtful to disgusting surroundings. I am sure that if you tried, you would make the most delightful acquaintances among respectable wizards and witches. A wise choice in a wife might be of massive advantage to gain Mother's forgiveness.

Your caring brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	19. Seventeenth of March - Sirius

_A/N Sooo, I wanted to put this up yesterday, but this lovely site happened to disagree. I hope the next letter next week will be punctual._

* * *

17.3.1979

Dear Reg,

Yep, I'm impressed. To be able to fool yourself as much as you do is quite an achievement. If there were an award for being blinded, you would be the shining winner. With every letter I receive from you, I wonder anew how anyone - even someone as idiotic as you - can turn and twist their own line of thought.

And how are you doing at school? Do you still have time to learn if you are called away every other night to torture some Muggles, because it's so entertaining? Thank goodness, that's not possible, Dumbledore would know and stop you. This is my sole solace, to know that you are always near people who would help you. But it is my guess that you will only truly realise what you have become once you've left school. And then, I don't know whether there is any hope for you.

Before I close my letter, I would like to emphasize that I'm not bothered if you take your time writing back. I don't need your owl any sooner than a Flobberworm would need for the distance between us.

Take care Reg,

Sirius


	20. Twenty-fourth of March - Regulus

_A/N Two weeks...  
_

* * *

24.3.1979

Dear brother,

I have now let a week pass since receiving your letter and hope you are strong enough to bear the delivery of a short note. I like writing Regulusly, but it seems that you have some Sirius problems with epistolography, so I respect your wishes.

I have just decided to go home over the Easter holidays though we have a lot of work to do. But because of your self-chosen exile, I have become our parents' only solace. Also, the poor house-elf misses me so much, it would be cruel not to go home for him. Kreacher suffers from your absence even more than the rest of us, for he accumulates all our grievances in his small body and is most justly indignant at the pain you inflicted upon us, especially Mother. He is the more hurt as he always endeavoured to adjust your views and to make you, after all the heir, more acceptable as a representative of our family.

To be honest with you, I feel a bit lonely and lost. All the others are thinking about what they will do after school. I know that my path is already set, for I have chosen my guide. The goal will be wonderful, I don't doubt that, but until we reach it, I tremble at what we may meet with on our way — and most of all, if and where and how our paths, dear brother, might cross.

For I will always be your affectionate brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black

P.S. Please, write again soon while I am still at Hogwarts. I don't want Mother to intercept a letter; she is still so angry with you (the intensity of her grief only shows the intensity of her love), and she might misconstruct things. I was often quite anxious over the last summer that I might have missed a letter from you because of her.


	21. Seventh of April - Sirius

_A/N In a week...  
_

* * *

7.4.1979

Dear Reg,

Obediently (yes, I'm surprised myself) I write to you again, and I imagine how the owl swoops down at your table and starts devouring your breakfast. Probably this should be the occasion to apologise for Harley's bad manners, but I'm not sorry to confess that they amuse me immensely.

Have you heard? Lovely Bella attacked - clearly something she loves to do regularly - my best friend and his newly-wed wife (as I was their best man I know perfectly well what I'm talking about) with her beloved master (you know very well that's not her husband). They needed all their wits to escape, but of course, that was an accident and a misunderstanding, and you are very sorry that my friends were not killed.

And to make another point very clear: My wish to hear nothing from your family includes that revolting house-elf. All he can do is repeat what your mother teaches him and therefore he turned out the basest creature on earth. As much as I protest against the ill-treatment under which many house-elves suffer, that thing is a copy of the most corrupt and ghastly in that family of yours. And speaking of your family and your shrieking, cursing mother, you don't want to tell me that I am still the heir? That woman must have disinherited me the second I fled from the dirt of her halls. You said yourself she burnt me from the tapestry (Yeah!).

But just in case you finally get it that you've taken the completely wrong path to your precious destination: If you're very careful, you might be able to hide from your sweet-natured guide and maybe rethink your goal. If this is what you want, contact Dumbledore. He is the only one who might still be able to help you.

Don't despair, little Reggie, I'm there for you,

Sirius


	22. Fourteenth of April - Regulus

_A/N First and most important, a huge thanks to **Afroz** , who gave a shout-out to this fic in their own story Dysfunctional._

 _Second, Sirius is a little lazy again, but he'll answer. In two weeks._

* * *

14.4.1979

Dear brother,

I am sorry to hear that friends of yours have been in trouble, and I am glad that they escaped unscathed. But I am sure that the encounter was based on wrong assumptions on both sides. I will try to set this right. You need not fear for anybody dear to you, for your feelings might be immature, but they are still your feelings and I cherish them as such.

And I can further assure you that you are as much our family's oldest son as on the day you were born. Mother was in a rage because of your unorthodoxy and in a rage Mother often does what she later regrets. She has got the best of hearts a mother can have and I count myself singularly happy to be her son. And thus she has not abandoned you in her warm heart as she had to do for the cold world. I am sure you understand why she had to censure you so hard in public. She had to consider the effect of her deeds on our society and could therefore not relent. But though she certainly would never contact you on her part, she is still as much your loving mother as ever and is ready to do anything for your benefit if you would only see reason. You remain the heir of our family and I hope your gratitude will teach you to wish to please Mother more.

In this context I may as well mention someone else whom you abuse. Mother's kindness expresses itself nowhere as clearly as in the affection it has created in our good, old Kreacher. She always has a friendly word ready for our elf when he has done something well and chides Father when he delights in ordering him around nonsensically. I have always followed her line of conduct and am rewarded with as warm and sincere a love as any house-elf ever felt. It grieves me to add that _your_ conduct on the other hand has embittered Kreacher's feelings. He witnessed Mother's pain whenever you wounded her and his fond heart suffered for her, blaming you for the consequences of your light-hearted behaviour. His attempts at remonstrances you used to rebuff most cruelly too. But like everybody else Kreacher considers you a member of the family (making him feel the more acute the taint you left on our family name) and he would rejoice with all his heart to see you reunited to those who love you. I do not doubt that the day when you walk through our door again will be the happiest in his life. But I agree that there are some wizards whose treatment of house-elves makes yours appear kind and father's whims funny. You cannot imagine the shock I felt when I witnessed at the Purse's how he treated his little elf. And even more disconcerting, I fear Cissy sees no fault in it.

I'm home for the Easter holidays, but I hope you will write as soon as I'm at school again.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	23. Twenty-eighth of April - Sirius

_A/N Tomorrow..._

* * *

28.4.1979

Dear Reg,

After all that sugary stuff you put in your last scribbles, wow, how I needed a break! Now the idea that you're back at Hogwarts and don't have to fear your mother's loving wrath makes my strength somewhat return. Strength? Nah, weakness. Stupid me, to write to you again, I really don't understand why I'm so sentimental.  
You have such strange views of the world. As far as I remember, that house-elf has only honoured me with such lovely epithets as 'associate of nasty Mudbloods' or 'blood traitor flirt'. Yeah, that sounds really affectionate. And wherefrom has he such a sweet vocabulary? From his darling mistress, has he not? Nobody but you simpleton could ever pretend that there is even a faint trace of regard left (if ever there was) between me and your mouldy home.

The only claim I ever made is that a person's qualities do not depend on their family background. All my crimes consist of is to get to know someone before I decide whether I would want to be friends with them. As I applied these ethics, it so happened that I befriended several 'Half-bloods', Muggle-borns, and - o shock! - Muggles. And then, what did that affectionate mother of yours do? Scream at me that I defile the family name. The fault that turned me into a disgrace for the likes of you is that I want to give everyone a chance to prove their value.

And no matter how much you moan and groan, I do not see one single reason to change my strategy. I got to know a lot of great persons and was relieved from the pretence to be friends with people such as your Purse. I know for sure that my best friends would do anything for me, even die, and I would do the same for them. The fact that I know such friendship is my greatest treasure, though of course it is my dearest hope that no one will ever have to die for another. But as your charming boss leaves bloodier and bloodier traces, the chances of heroism have wretchedly increased.

But I waste my ink. The only heroism you will ever know is the torture of the helpless and oppressed, the murder of the innocent. As I write, I can hardly accept this: to know that soon you will have to kill these last vestiges of decency visible in your letters - the sole reason why I keep writing back. But you will find no use for decency among your chosen companions. Either you turn into a cheap copy of your master or a corpse.

Until then we may write to each other from two different poles of the universe,

Sirius

P.S. I heard that Father's at St Mungo's. Not that I'm really bothered, but did something happen?


	24. Twenty-ninth of April - Regulus

_A/N Sirius will not feel motivated at all to answer this letter. After a bit over three weeks, Regulus will write again (and get an answer).  
_

* * *

29.4.1979

Dearest brother,

I can instantly relieve you from your anxieties and assure you that Father is in perfect health. He had to spend a night at St Mungo's, that's true, but the Healers were soon able to mow the grass on his head properly and return to hair. And though you claim to do not want to hear from us, I would be very much mistaken if you didn't have some interest in learning how he contracted this Transfiguration mess, especially since you are closely involved. At the end of the Easter holidays, Mother had once more wasted her energy on attacking the decorations of your room. Just as she got to one of your posters with underclad Muggle girls, Father walked by and told her to give it up. It were useless and the posters were not that bad. You may believe me, it was not easy for me to transport him to the hospital as he needed to be sprinkled regularly.

And I know you said you didn't want to hear about them, but I just need someone to complain to. Why on earth must Cissy chose me to weep about her not getting pregnant? I ended up telling her to ask Dromeda what to do about that, recounting to her what you wrote to me about her daughter. She looked taken aback and a little distrustful, but I think she was glad to hear about Dromeda. At least she stopped harrassing me with how desperate she was.

I want to further assure you that you are still under a completely wrong impression about our political goals. I raise absolutely no objection to giving every individual a chance to prove one's qualities. Still, there remain inflexible differences between the likes of us and up-starts. We all deserve a place in this world, but it cannot and it must not be the same. Everyone has to remain where they belong, otherwise there would be chaos and anarchy, and the decline of wizard kind would be unavoidable. You are messing up two completely different things: appreciating a person in a personal and in a social context. You do not draw these lines carefully enough, but they are important for the stability of our society. I am aware that you will not attach much weight to these words, considering who I am, but they are true nontheless: you are too young to understand yet how important it is to distinct between those who have been deemed worthy of magic by centuries of powerful ancestors and those who rise from the gutters. I do say, let them rise. Let them rise to the doorstep of the glorious tower that is wizardkind, but we, the rightful inhabitants, should not let them in lightly, not if we want to remain standing strong and stay who we are. We cannot let our blood be weakened by some parvenus.

Therefore I do hope I will be able to do my share in firmly establishing an order based on the natural superiority of magic. Once this is achieved, everything will be as it ought. Then everyone is bound to profit, for they will be where they belong and where they will necessarily thrive best.

I am certain you will accept these views as I accept yours, and gradually we may step towards each other until we meet again.

Your affectionate brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	25. Twenty-second of May - Regulus

_A/N Saturday..._

* * *

22.5.1979

Dear Sirius,

It's been over three weeks since you last wrote, and this silence starts to disquiet me. I do hope you are all right, and the lack of a sign of life is not the result of unfortunate circumstances. You know you can always turn to me if you are in trouble. I am willing to do whatever is in my power to reconcile you with your loved ones. As strict as our parents can be, as forgiving they are towards a repentant soul.

Now I have to come to my entirely selfish reason for sending you this letter, and I count on your brotherly love not to scorn me for my request. As you know, exams are drawing nearer, so I wanted to ask, could you please send me your old exam papers? It's not that I'm lazy or trying to cheat, for I am completely immersed in revision. I'd just really like to achieve good marks. It's my NEWTs next year, and the teachers are all going crazy with stressing how important it is to do well. Not one Transfiguration lesson goes by without McGonagall swearing to not let us continue into our seventh year if we fail. And I'm betting it will all be about human transfiguration, and to this day it's pure luck whether the spells work for me or not. You should have seen that beard I gave Wanda when I was practicing yesterday. I think she's never going to talk to me again.

By the way, have you heard? We absolutely flattened Hufflepuff in the last match! 240 to 40. I was more than a yard ahead of their Seeker when I caught the Snitch. If Ravenclaw now wins against Gryffindor by less than sixty points, the cup is ours. Admittedly, you might not be that thrilled at the prospect of your house not winning, but you've won for the last three years. With Potter no more on the team, is it too much to ask that you're a little bit partial in my favour?

I am so glad that I have past my Apparition test a month ago, which is a relief. It will make it far easier over the summer to attend the meeting of our circle and be of use in our fight for the health of wizardkind. But speaking of meeting, probably we could see each other again too? Maybe you would like to accompany me to one of the meetings? It will soon be a year since we last saw each other.

Your devoted brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	26. Twenty-sixth of May - Sirius

_A/N Thank you all for reading, following, favouriting, reviewing. A special thanks to the guest reviewer, because I cannot write to you personally. I'm happy you like it! And Regulus will answer very soon…_

* * *

26.5.1979

Dear Reg,

Who do you think I am? I threw my exam papers into the chimney the evening after the exams. So here I was, having to find someone less mentally sane who would keep their papers. At first I wanted to ask Lily, just for the sake of having you depend on a Muggleborn. But then I decided against it. She's having it hard enough without hearing me complain about you. I don't want to explain this unhealthy obsession of remaining in contact with you to more than the absolute minimum of people. It's hard to know who to trust anymore, and I don't want to destroy all my credibility by admitting that I'm writing to my idiot brother. Lucky for you, Remus still had the papers and promised to tell nobody. So here you go and good luck, I guess.

Oh, and by the by, I'd rather put an Entrail-expelling curse on myself than to ever go to a Death Eater meeting. Are you attempting to murder me, or why are you suggesting such a thing! Wow, I so don't want to be you when you finally wake up. And who the *** is Wanda?

Love,

Sirius

P.S. Well, looks like that was nothing with the cup. Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Gryffindoooor!


	27. Twenty-eighth of May - Regulus

_A/N Less than two weeks... when Regulus' exams are over..._

* * *

28.5.1979

Dear Sirius,

Receive my most sincere thanks for the papers. One week. I've only got one week to get all of this into my brain. I'm starting to feel all jittery.  
For your information, I was talking about Wanda Avery. I really hope she's not going to complain about me to her older brother, you know, because he's a, to use the term you used, Death Eater too.

Speaking of them, don't be childish. Of course they wouldn't kill you, you are a Black. You're under a completely wrong impression as I said time and time again. Please do consider how you like to speak up against prejudice even when it's got solid foundation in fact. This would be the opportunity for you to get to know the truth about us without having your vision blurred by those you unfortunately call your friends. I do admit that we are named in a way that might cause an easily impressionable soul to come to wrong conclusions. I think I'm going to suggest to rename us 'Knights of Purity' or similar so that it is obvious for the neutral onlooker what we stand for (and I'm confident that I'll be successful, I heard our original name went in this direction).

I hope you forgive the shortness of my letter today. I'm looking up examples for Golpalott's Third Law. I should have done this ages ago, if Slughorn tests us on that I'm doomed.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	28. Eighth of June - Regulus

_A/N Tuesday next... I'm feeling sort of down at the moment, so if you feel like brightening my day by leaving a review, please don't restrain yourself ;) And if not, thanks anyway for reading to this point.  
_

* * *

8.6.1979

Dear Sirius,

They're over. The exams are finally over!

I've almost forgotten how it is to do not have to rehearse. I think I'll do exactly nothing during the rest of the school year. As soon as I'm back from the owlery, I'll be lying on the couch and that's it until I get back home. It is not entirely selfish. The more I relax now, the more I'll be able to put all my energy to the service of the Dark Lord afterwards. The summer holidays only last two months, but that will hopefully suffice to put my talents to good use. I am very much looking forward to finally doing something. Just one more year at school - I can feel it, my life is finally about to start!

Please excuse the immature composition of this letter. I am afraid it does not live up to the stylistic expectation I have of my writing. But today has been too nerve-racking to go over it again and adapt it to achieve more elegance. Let me once again express my desire to meet with you. My old offer still stands, please consider it.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	29. Twelth of June - Sirius

_A/N Soon..._

* * *

12.6.1979

Dear Reg,

Well, congrats for surviving your exams. That's what I should say, I guess, though it feels wrong. I'm trying to laugh, but it's just driving me crazy: you're looking forward to torturing, mutilating, and murdering innocents.

Hahaha.

That doesn't even look funny on parchment. If your hopes come true, there's nothing I can do nothing but dig a grave for the brother I used to love. If you become a Death Eater through and through, there's no point in pretending you're alive just because your body is still here, doing unspeakable things. I'll finally have to give up on you. You know, Reg, it hurts. It hurts to know where you're heading. And I can do nothing. Nothing. Do you have any idea how I'm feeling!

My answer to your silly offer still stands too. I'm not suicidal.

Love,

Sirius


	30. Fourteenth of June - Regulus

_A/N Lazy Sirius... Two weeks!_

* * *

14.6.1979

Dear Sirius

Thank you for your kind words, my brother, for I value your recognition like nobody else's. Yet, it saddens me to see you as delusional as ever despite my best efforts. I am experiencing outmost peace, joy, and relaxation here at Hogwarts while you worry about me though there is not the least reason to do so. Why can't you see how mistaken you are in how you see us? If you would not spend so much time in the presence of people far beneath you, it would become crystal clear that we are not committing any crimes unless society forces us to through the perversions it has allowed in recent years. We want to reform wizardkind so that we return to our old grandeur. This is a noble task. Once I will be more involved in our society's deeds, I shall give you even better prove of how wrong you are, and then you will see the error of your ways. I am marching towards a noble future, and I do not want to leave my brother behind.

Please write to me before the holidays start. Mother still has all owls sent to Grimmauld Place deliver to her first, but I hope that I can convince her that I can be contacted directly now that I'm of age. I feel confident that she will consider me worthy of her trust. I will let you know.

Your devoted brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	31. Twenty-eighth of June - Sirius

_A/N Regulus will reply once he's home._

* * *

28.6.1979

Dear Reg,

Hey, it's me, writing on time. Impressive, isn't it? Okay, let's write this down in all clarity: you are scared of anyone finding out that you're writing to me. Hm, think about this again, isn't there something inherently wrong with that you have to be afraid because of being in contact with... who again? Oh, yes, your brother! Maybe you should think about what this implies about that hag you call a mother. But just saying, don't mind me. So ask whether she allows you to be an adult, and if you're allowed, tell me the outcome. You know, I'd gladly obey if you ordered me to do not contact you any longer. You're deaf anyway to what I say — or maybe blind is more appropriate as this is a letter — though I can guarantee you, I'd shout my opinions at you if we should ever run into each other loud enough for the whole country to hear.

Yes, I, contrary to you, have opinions of my own, and I do like to make them known. This brings me to something you wrote about two months ago, and my response might be late but nevertheless necessary — someone has to be the voice of reason for my little baby brother. I do not see any point in your awful order theory you annoyed me with at the end of April. I have seen no decline in wizarding kind where magical and non-magical blood has been mixed. On the contrary, I know some excellent wizards and witches with a Muggle parent or even parents. I have already told you of the case of Metamorphmagism in our family, though (or probably because!) the girl's father is Muggleborn. I cannot see any order violated by people marrying as their hearts tell them. What other guide in love do you ask for but your own heart!

If you should suddenly notice how you suffocate at home, you are welcome to live with me. Then again, a rupture with your family would with all probability be combined with a break with your precious master. The consequence: You would be in deadly danger, and the few protections around my home would hardly stand a full-scale Death Eater attack. But while I cannot offer you safety, I can help you contact people who will be able to.

If you need help, I will be there for you,

Sirius


	32. Second of July - Regulus

_A/N So, here we are. This is it, Regulus' last letter before THE incident. His next one will be very different._

 _And to the anonymous reviewer from June 16, thank you so much. It **is** the highest praise you could have given me._

* * *

2.7.1979

Dear brother,

Thank you for your kind letter though I grieve that you still close your eyes in front of the obvious. Just because there are exceptions to the rule that doesn't mean that the rule is invalid. I have frequently heard of Squibs being born to unwisely wed couples. While I certainly will not belittle the importance of the heart, only a fool (if you feel hurt, you cannot deny that I have a point) would deny that you shouldn't let your mind as well have a say in such a grave matter as to who you bind yourself for life. And by the way, voice of reason, whoever this might be, it would be a world sensation if it ever happened to be you.

I have arrived home perfectly well and feel as comfortable as ever. Now it's one year more and my education will be finished. It'll be a strange feeling never to return to school, though I already know to what I will devote my life afterwards. Over the holidays, I have all the time in the world to devote to the cause of giving back wizardkind what we deserve, and I am eager to do my best.

As could be expected from our mother's magnanimous soul, she of course trusts me to entertain my correspondence wisely. Could you still be so kind as to time your letters so that they arrive when Mother is in bed? Caring as she is, she does want to read my post too when it arrives during breakfast. By the by, it would also be great if you could teach your owl not to always screech so loudly and non-stop.

Later next week, I will meet several of our society, including our leader. Until now I have only met a few others from our circle without ever attending an official meeting, so this is an event I look very much forward to. I spent so much of my life at school until now, and I can't wait to finally serve our community as efficiently as I have always wished. I hope I will be assigned with a task to prove myself useful to wizardkind though I will be glad for any small service I can contribute to our common goal. If you have any special request, do not hesitate to ask me so that I can support your case in front of the others.

Your devoted brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black


	33. Fourteenth of July - Regulus

_A/N Imagine this letter as being very hastily scribbled down. Now everything will be going down steadily. I upped the rating because of angst and finally major character death, but you've all known that this would eventually happen. The letters are now going to follow each other a lot faster (and they won't be all that short, promise).  
_

* * *

14.7.1979

Dear brother,

I feel disturbed. What am I to do? Have I made a mistake? I can't see any flaws in my ideas. But how could he do this? It's not right. He's such a dear, little creature, he didn't deserve anything like this. How could I allow it! I can never forgive myself. But can it mean what I think it – no, it can't, it's impossible, it's not right. O my brother, what am I to do? It was not right and if I'm right it would be horrible. I don't know what to do.

Love,

Regulus


	34. Fifteenth of July - Sirius

15.7.1979

Dear Reg,

I don't understand a word of what you have written. What's the matter? It seems you have finally realised what an idiot you've been, but how? Explain! I did not expect such a letter from you just like that and out of nowhere. What's going on? Can I help you? Would you like to see me? I can take an evening off or on Saturday, if that would help you. You're my brother, just tell me and I'll do whatever I can. Now calm down so that I can understand what's going on.

Love,

Sirius


	35. Sixteenth of July - Regulus

16.7.1979

Dear Sirius,

Thank you, you're the only one who can help me now. Can you wait tomorrow in front of the Leaky Cauldron at around six o'clock p.m.? I feel horrible.

Love,

Regulus


	36. Seventeenth of July - Sirius

17.7.1979

Dear Regulus,

I'll be there tonight. Six in the evening. And I'll be punctual for once, I promise. Meet me on the Muggle side. Put a Disillusionment charm on you and whisper to me the name of one of our twin Puffskeins we got on Christmas 1966. I'll tell you the other one. Heads up, we'll find a way for whatever's going on.

Love,

Sirius

PS I'm sorry this is so late, but I wasn't sure whether the letter would arrive before lunch. I didn't want to risk that you get this while you're not alone.


	37. Eighteenth of July - Regulus

18.7.1979

Dear brother,

I am so sorry for not keeping our engagement yesterday. Please believe me that I wanted to go and I really cannot explain this rationally, but I was suddenly frozen and couldn't force myself to stand up from my bed, even less to leave my room. Please do not be angry. You must have felt so stupid waiting while I lay on my bed, feeling like I'm going to suffocate. I can't explain this sudden panic attack, nor can I make a proper excuse.

Please forgive me, I was at first so relieved to think that I can tell you all and you would somehow, miraculously, make everything right again like when we were children. But we are no longer children and you cannot fix my problem. I must deal with this alone. I spent yesterday evening - I'm really, really sorry - rereading your letters and now - how can I say this? Maybe you had a point, with the praxis I mean. Don't get me wrong, I am still certain that my ideas are basically right, but probably I have chosen the completely wrong methods of realising them. It's the only explanation that makes sense. If my suspicions are true, I can no longer follow such a man, and that may very well lead to my death.

O my dear, dear Sirius, am I not too young to die? If this is the right thing to do, how? If I have to, I want at least to do it in a way that has a purpose. I caused pain where I never wanted to, and I must make up for this.

Please, Sirius, don't leave me. I need you and your advice. Do you think I am right? I don't want to die. But I suppose I can't help it. Please write to me, whatever you do, write to me.

Love,

Regulus


	38. Nineteenth of July - Sirius

_A/N We're not quite at the end yet. There will be a short pause, but Regulus will answer in a few days._

* * *

19.7.1979

Dear Reg,

You know I am here for you and always will be. When I waited before the Leaky Cauldron, I already feared that something worse had happened, making me almost call at Grimmauld Place. To get your letter was first and foremost a huge relief.

Now try to calm down and view things as rationally as possible. There's no reason to think about dying. You're _not_ going to die! If you can, please tell me what exactly happened to change your mind so suddenly? If I knew, I feel like I could help you better. Either way, I will do what I can to support you. For the moment, the most important thing is that no one else suspects anything of your present turmoil - not our parents and most certainly not your boss and his other followers. However hard it is, for now pretend that nothing has happened. If you allow me, I'll contact Dumbledore and we will find somewhere safe to hide you. Then we meet somewhere inconspicuous and I can Apparate you to the safe place. Write whether this is okay. If you do not inform anyone else of what's going on with you, the rest of our family should be safe. The Black name has a sinister enough reputation and Grimmauld Place itself is after all reasonably well protected.

You do not have to die. You committed no crime yet, you are still just my little idiot. Everything will be fine, I promise.

Love,

Sirius


	39. Twenty-second of July - Regulus

22.7.1997

Dear Sirius,

Thank you for your advice. I try to appear as normal as usual, to discuss matters with Mother like always and to help Father with his daily work. I fear I'm not very good at it, they both look at me with increasing disquiet. But they haven't asked questions yet, so maybe it's not as bad as it seems to me.

I do feel so empty, as if I'm full of holes. I don't know whether you understand what I mean, but that's the most accurate comparison I can come up with. Nothing makes sense, nothing has a meaning anymore. And yet, this is the same old world as before. I know everything here. I know that my life used to be logical and orderly and that it should still be that way. This is who I am, isn't it? And yet, why do I feel like I have to turn all of this upside down? To be honest, everything already is upside down. Still, I am the same as I always was. In a way nothing has changed, but everything did. I thought I had my ideas realised in one perfect picture, but then I took it from the wall and the back was full of mould. I feel humiliated and I can't bear it.

I have to do something against this. I want to somehow stand up, do something. But I don't know what. No, that's not true, I know something, but it terrifies me. That's wrong too, isn't it? It is the necessary course of action, I think, so I shouldn't fear to do what is right. Do you think I am strong enough? I am so scared.

Don't inform Dumbledore, not yet, I couldn't bear the shame, I have to deal with this myself, I just have to be brave enough. O, my dearest brother, what am I to do?

Love,

Reg


	40. Twenty-third of July - Sirius

_A/N So here we are. Regulus will think things through for a few days and then write his final letter. Afterwards, there are a few letters of Sirius' in which he tries to contact his brother, and my question is: Should I put them up on the day of their (fictional) composition or should I put them all up at once? I'm in favour of the latter because Regulus' letter is the climax of the story and any letter afterwards would just be drawing out the pain. If any of you disagree (or maybe also if you agree), please let me know in your review/via PM.  
_

* * *

23.7.1979

Dear Reg,

Calm down. Okay, I won't say anything yet to Dumbledore though I think that's not sensible. Don't try to be a hero, the only result would be you losing your life, and that helps no one. Think of all those who love you - among them weirdly enough myself. You have to stay alive for them. Remember, you're but seventeen, you deserve to have a long row of happy years ahead of you. Yes, you were a moron, but it's not too late to set things right. Stop thinking about your appearance because who cares! The only thing of importance is to get you safely out of this mess. Don't do anything rash. Let us hide you, let me take care of you. I am your brother, isn't this my responsibility? We will talk everything through and you will feel better. Keep up your pretence for the moment, you are being really brave. I am so proud of you, little Reg.

Love,

Sirius


	41. Twenty-sixth of July - Regulus

26.7.1979

Dear Sirius,

I have made my decision. Now there's no way back.

I visited Dromeda yesterday and seen her for the first time for over seven years. I was careful to avoid her husband and she was so surprised, I couldn't help crying. She was tactful enough to overlook it, though her little one was nagging me about what was the matter. She is a darling little girl, really concerned and such a mess at the same time, I actually ended up laughing. I am so glad that I have made this acquaintance and it was wonderful to see Dromeda again one last time. Meeting them, I saw that I am going to do the right thing. My cousin's happiness shall be my reward as well as the revenge of the one I failed to protect as would have been my duty.

I will do the right thing. It is as if I walked along a very steep path after my leader up and up, and then we went around a sharp bend and suddenly I see the bloody temple whereto I have walked. I see that I somewhere took a wrong turn and want to go back, but the path behind me has disappeared, whereto I know not. I look down into the abyss, and in its depth I think I can make out somewhere far below what might have been my original destination. But as I stand still, I can feel my ill-chosen leader turn around too. There is no possibility to go back now, it's just forwards into the terrible fortress, built out of despair and hate. If I even try to make a step backwards, I know he would throw me down into nothingness. There is no choice but a last chance to reclaim myself, my freedom, from my former guide. I will not be pushed, I jump.

Dearest brother, you will never read a letter from me again. These are almost the last letters my quill will ever trace. Remember me sometimes. And as a last favour, can I beg of you to reconcile yourself with our family? You know what Mother's pain will be when I disappear without leaving a word or sign. I love her, but I can't help it, all I can do is try to offer her some consolation through my beloved brother. And there is another thing, one so important that it is not easy to understand: Kreacher will be beyond despair. Kreacher will know and he will need you. Go to him and offer him your help. Show him my letter and he will tell you, seeing what I write here, and the two of you will work together. And thus, as I die, I can be calm, knowing that my family is together again and you, dearest brother, take care of everything. They will all need as much of your love as you can offer.

I know I ask much of you, but I don't doubt your love. Now the time has come to occupy my quill with one other letter. And when that task is finished, the minutes of my life will have become numbered. With my letter's end, I hasten to my own. There is no turning back now.

I jump.

All my love,

Reg


	42. July to September

27.7.1979

Dear Reg,

Now don't start to be so melodramatic and don't talk in metaphors. I can't stand both and it doesn't help us in the least. Neither is involving the rest of the family of the least help. They would just be shocked that you're not as cruel as they'd like you to be. And that also applies to Kreacher; you can't honestly expect me to approach any of them again. I promise - to talk in your flowery sentences - there is a safe way back if it is only cautiously walked. Let me be your guide, I am sure I can lead you to happiness again. We will laugh together once more I don't doubt it.

Don't do anything stupid. Make up your mind as soon as possible to have me inform Dumbledore, then I come and take you with me. Don't be afraid, I will be there for you.

Love,

Sirius

* * *

4.8.1979

Dear Reg,

Don't torture my nerves but answer me. Even if you can't tell the difference between yourself and a Flobberworm anymore, at least do me the favour to prove that you're still well, physically I mean. What's the matter with you? You couldn't help bombarding me with letters earlier, now it's really not the time to stop this.

Write instantly,

Sirius

* * *

13.8.1979

Dear Reg,

I'm panicking, write back this moment. I am really out of patience. I need to have a letter from you right now. What are you playing at, suddenly stopping to write?

Love,

Sirius

* * *

17.8.1979

Dear Reg,

Three weeks have now passed since I last received a letter from you. Do you have any idea of the anxiety I am in? You are being utterly egoistic. Will you write back? Only write to me again, I don't ask much, do I?

Love,

Sirius

* * *

2.9.1979

Dear Reg,

I start to lose hope. Are you really, well, that... no, I can't write it down. It can't be. You must sit huddled up in your bed and don't move a toe. You are well, aren't you? Tell me you are alright. I would cherish any sign of life from you. Please, somehow, contact me.

Love,

Sirius

* * *

5.9.1979

Dear Sirius,

All your last five letters have been intercepted by your mother and the first four immediately burnt. I succeeded in reading your last one before she threw it into the flames too. I think she is afraid that she will learn anything about Regulus from you that would taint his memory. Contrary to her, my hope that you might know something about him was stronger than any fear of what he might have done so I read your letter, ready to learn the worst. But all I can say now is that you know no more than we do. The last time I saw Regulus was on the morning of the twenty-sixth of July. Nobody can provide any information on what has happened to him; he has told nothing, not to me, not to Mother, not even to Kreacher. We are desperate.

Sirius, now it's time to grow up. You see your family in tears, you yourself fear for your brother. Come back to us. I am ready to deal with almost any folly from you, only for your mother's sake, I beg you to be a little more presentable. Come and share your grief with us. You are my son and I love and miss you as I love and miss Regulus. I do not know where he has gone to, but I know where you are and that I can see you again.

Do not disappoint me, for I can feel that I do not have much time left.

Father

* * *

 _A/N According to JKR's Black family tree, Sirius' father died the same year. Soon, Lily would get pregnant, and then there would be the prophecy, and so on. Sirius would have a bunch of new problems There will be too much going on so that it will become easier and less painful to simply not think about his brother anymore and his strange last request._

* * *

 _Well, here we are. This is it, the end. I hope I managed at least a little to achieve my goal and to create believable, complex characters that are both true to canon and enhancing it though sticking to canon also meant that there was never any hope that the tragedy could be averted._

 _Thank you all so much for reading, especially those who followed, favourited, and/or reviewed._

 _Special thanks to **Rose9797** for leaving countless reviews and continually supporting this story and being endlessly patient with my sluggishness._  
 _A huge thanks to **Dancing-Souls** for equally leaving numerous reviews. I want to thank **Son of Whitebeard** , **Candymouse22** , **my-last-username-was-immature** , **theicingandcherryontop** , **Laerthel** , **Eryn Slith** , **WelcomeToTheLoser'sClub** , **Arsacid** , **Ayvinn** , who left the very first review on this story, and the guest(s)-reviewers. Your support has made this story possible.  
_


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